My ASD Princess

To say “Its been a tough holiday period for the princess” would be an understatement.The normality of school, bedtime, packed lunches and her gymnastic lessons create a rhythmic stability for her, and we were free from this for the next 9 days.  Added to the messed up routine, we explored new places, holidayed with friends and shared many long car trips together.

There were many many highlights, laughs and memories, but wow I was holidayed out.

But to some extent its been tougher on my 3 other superhero’s. We have been teaching Jenna’s 3 siblings about tolerance, to walk away from conflict, and to be brave. Sharing with them that they are loved, important and are worthy of “Dad/Mum” time. Although these simple lesson have been taught, the application has been proving difficult, and with good reason.

At face value all our kids understand they are loved, special and are bound for exceptional things. But constant aggression, harsh words and at times violence will cause the strongest to break.

I think it all came to ahead last weekend when my 7 year old son thought I “hated him.” My heart broke, had I been too tough, did I expect too much, had I set the poor fella up to fail?

Without coming to a conclusion, I hugged him hard, gave him a kiss and just “hung around” for a while.

Man I love him heaps. I love all of them heaps, and getting the balance right it just plain hard work. That small gesture given to my son cost me heaps. I paid for that gesture for the remaining 5 days from the princess. The tables were turned, respite for the kids, pure anger for Dad.

Kathryn and I try and take most of the heat, divert the pain so to speak. We look for avenues to keep Jenna busy, assure she has had 1:1 time, look for ways to address sensory needs and work inline with special interests. We have been finding that although this is proving invaluable for Jenna, the cost at times is high for the other 3.

We often hear comment about our decision to have 4 children (yes it was a choice). We are reminded about the cost, the pressure to meet all their needs, the competition, not being able to “keep up with the Jones”. We don’t over think this. All our children are loved, have value, have responsibilities and will achieve (with much help at times) their wildest dreams. They play AFL, piano, in theatre and a gymnist (well this month anyways.) I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Often at night I ponder what will become for my princess and 3 superhero’s. I wonder what steps we will get wrong and which ones are right.  I pray for all my kids, although I don’t think I pray very grand/over the top prayers. I don’t wish for greatness, wealth or riches.

Not that my faith can’t believe for this but what I want is different. I pray for things like; fun, freedom, free expression, choice, friends, to continue to feel comfortable being them, to embrace their uniqueness and to always be silly sometimes.

So life is a little crazy sometimes always, the bills are always a little late, I may drink too much wine, I may make most of my parenting up on the fly, but God i’m grateful for my family and wouldn’t have it any other way.