It seems we have pressed re-wind, 1 year ago to the week we were searching for a new school, new psychologist, different friends and came anxiety.
- Trying to find ‘the best fit’ for our princess seems to be a never-ending journey.
- Trying to understand ‘triggers’ and unpack the stressors is tirelessly painstaking.
- Learning that at times unwelcome behaviours from Jenna communicate deeper worry, fear and barriers that inhibit her to tap her full potential.
Mum and Dad figuratively ‘hit the wall’ and run out of the fight. We needed to find a left field solution to provide respite, solace for Jenna. We needed both a quick win and a long term solution.
During our psychologist appointments, we have been encouraged to look for triggers, ask the questions, look for answers. This exercise provided more questions than solutions, instead of finding a single cause for the behaviour/anxiety it just created greater confusion.
Still we kept digging, looking for answers, adjusting routine, modifying commitments. Nothing.
Next became a bigger problem… the constant in Jenna’s life the past 6 years has been a school. School, for the most part, has been predictable, structured and problem free. In what seemed overnight we went from going to school daily, to non-attendance. We made it 3 days this month and I started asking Jenna questions and digging a little. We knew some of the problems. Simple, easy to understand, although near impossible to fix for an ASD kids with limited understanding of social norms and a life outside of herself. I explained all the little concerns away, pushing away as Jenna’s idiosyncrasies and seeking comfort that the school system knows best.
I still had an issue that wasn’t fixed, School wasn’t working for Jenna. No attendance and wanting to be at home with Dad couldn’t work long term. I needed to go to work, I had to pay the bills, We needed a solution.
Grandparents saved the day, what was meant to be an overnight stay turned into a 2-week visit. Jenna was spoilt, made to feel special, was given time, and valued. Anxiety reduced, normality started to return, and our bright, bubbly girl was returning.
I starting digging again, now in a better headspace we begin making progress. It was a simple problem with huge ramifications.
The problem was the rules, different rules. We had several classes at school with conflicting rules, relationship’s and expectations. It was to cause so much confusion and anxiety that my princess was physically sick.
We concluded that this was broken, a problem that was small, but too big to solve for Jenna.
Jenna had moved on… She found the problem, although the simple fix was too hard to execute. As started at the beginning of the blog, it was new school time.
Big girl choices were made. And a new journey starts next week for the princess.